Sonder: The Beautiful Realisation That Everyone Has a Story

There are certain words that feel like tiny revelations when we encounter them. They put into language something we’ve always felt but never knew how to describe. One such word is sonder.

What Does Sonder Mean?

The term “sonder” was coined by John Koenig in The Dictionary of Obscure Sorrows, a project dedicated to inventing words for emotions we all recognise but lack names for. Sonder is defined as:

The realisation that each random passer-by is living a life as vivid and complex as your own.

It’s the moment you look at a stranger and suddenly recognise that they’re not just a blurry background character in your story, they’re the protagonist of their own.

Why Sonder Feels So Profound

When sonder hits, it can be dizzying. You notice the man reading a newspaper on the train and realise he has decades of memories, private joys, and personal heartbreaks. The woman walking her dog might be rehearsing a difficult conversation in her head. The child crying in the supermarket may one day tell stories about that very moment.

Sonder is humbling. It nudges us out of our self-centred perspective and reminds us that the world is not a stage revolving around our existence. Instead, we’re all threads in an infinitely intricate tapestry.

The Beauty of Hidden Stories

Embracing sonder opens up empathy. It helps us remember that every person we brush past has dreams, worries, triumphs, and fears just as real as our own. The barista who remembers your order, the delivery driver at your door, the stranger you’ll never see again, all are carrying entire universes within them.

It’s a reminder to slow down, to look up, and to connect. Even if just silently, with awe.

Practising Sonder in Everyday Life

Here are a few simple ways to cultivate this awareness:

• Observe without judgement. When you notice someone, imagine what their day has been like.

• Ask questions. When appropriate, strike up conversations that invite people to share pieces of their world.

• Shift perspective. Remind yourself that in someone else’s eyes, you’re the stranger in the background.

Why We Need Sonder Now

In a world that often feels fragmented, where online spaces amplify differences and headlines highlight division, sonder is a quiet act of connection. It’s an antidote to indifference, reminding us that beneath the surface, we all crave love, safety, belonging, and meaning.

In short: Sonder is not just a word, it’s a lens. A way of seeing the world that makes it richer, more compassionate, and endlessly fascinating.

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I would also like to state that I have tried everything to get rid of the buttons bellow, as I have not set up those specific apps yet, but unfortunately nothing has worked. Please ignore, thank you!